Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Regulators!!!! Mount Up

"Ladies and gentlemen I will be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests..... we did" -Otter Animal House

Tuesday is 'talks a lot' day for our prescient, admirable government leaders. I've seen Bush at some office supply warehouse acting interested not in the woes of middle managers, but in making sure he does not accidentally spill out his real strategery like he is prone to do.

To accompany the royal rumble of an afternoon Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke stood to calm fears of average people by using such plain language as "I can make us not totally fucked until the next President takes over", and "sorry you can't buy a new car like you have every year since you graduated high school" I am, of course, paraphrasing my own interpretations of the actual quotes as I have no idea what he was talking about.

I do know that the biggest portion of the credit crunch comes from the unregulated insurance side of investment assets. I know that unscrupulous and certainly unethical , though not necessarily illegal, actions of both aspects of Government and Wall Street investment groups are to blame. I am even more aware that when someone steals money from me I do not hire them to investigate the culprit.

So to play out the charade I introduce the 2008 characters from the classic 80' western Young Guns

Ben Bernanke as John Tunstall

John Tunstall: I have made a long, steamship journey from London, Mr. Murphy, so I shall be damned if I am persuaded by something as ugly as political corruption. So, I'd like for you to take your threats and your sheriff and get off my property.

Rep. Henry Waxman as Pat Garrett

Why don't you take your money, shove it up your ass, and set fire to it?

George Bush is 'Jose' Chavez y Chavez

Chavez:I told you I would find the way, and the way is west.

John McCain is Billy the Kid

Billy: Well Tom, that's bad types. Politicians, bankers, cattle-kings... Scum...

Barack Obama as 'Doc" Scurlock
Scurlock: You son of a bitch! You're starting to believe what they're writing about you, aren't you? Let me tell you what you really are! You rode a 15 year old boy straight to his grave, and the rest of us straight to hell... straight to hell! William H. Bonney! You are *not* a god!

Wall Street is Lawrence Murphy

Murphy:Well, he used to be a storekeeper and now he's my lawyer.

America as Charlie Bowdre

Bowdre: He's there enough to be dancing with a pretty girl while we're sitting around pulling our tallywhackers.